وروى ابن أبي الدنيا بإسناده عن علي قال : "خياركم كل مفتن تواب . [ يعني كلما فُتِن بالدنيا تاب ] . قيل فإذا عاد ؟ قال : يستغفر الله ويتوب ، قيل : فإن عاد ؟ قال : يستغفر الله ويتوب ، قيل : فإن عاد ؟ قال : يستغفر الله ويتوب ، قيل : حتى متى ؟ قال : حتى يكون الشيطان هو المحسور "
ENGLISH:
Ibn Abi Dunya narrated with his isnaad that ‘Ali said: “The best of you is every tempted one who repents (i.e., every time he is tempted by this world, he repents).” It was said, “What if he sins again?” He said, “He should ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent.” It was said, “What if he sins again?” He said, “He should ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent.” It was said, “What if he sins again?” He said, “He should ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent.” It was said, “For how long?” He said, “Until the Shaytaan is defeated.”
NEDERLANDS:
Ibn Abi Dunya heeft met zijn isnaad van Ali overgeleverd: "De besten onder jullie zijn degenen die getest worden en berouw tonen". Hij werd gevraagd: "En als hij weer zondigt?" Ali antwoordde: "Hij moet Allah's vergiffenis vragen en berouw tonen". Hij werd gevraagd: "En als hij weer zondigt?" Ali antwoordde: "Hij moet Allah's vergiffenis vragen en berouw tonen". Hij werd gevraagd: "En als hij weer zondigt?" Ali antwoordde: "Hij moet Allah's vergiffenis vragen en berouw tonen". Hij werd gevraagd: "Tot wanneer [kan hij dat blijven doen]?" Hij zei: "Totdat de shaytan is verslagen".
["Jaami Al-Uloem", 1/164].
But what happens when one cannot forgive one's self? What does one do when one feels ashamed about it? When one does not dare to ask for forgiveness again, and again and again, for one is not worth it? What does one do when one feels abandoned by one’s believe? What does one need to do when the feeling of hatred to one’s self is dominant, for one is ashamed of being oneself.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I need to do for I feel bad about myself, for I fear God, for I fear my parents, for I fear everything and everyone.
.. for I am a weakling
As-Salaam 'Alaykum,
ReplyDeleteAllaah says: "O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful". {Qur'an 39: 53}.
The prophet said that every son of Adam is a sinner and that the best among the sinners is the one who frequently repents. And he said that if human beings did not err, Allaah would have replaced them with creatures who did err so that Allah could forgive them. Allah loves to forgive, we should never despair. Allaah is At-Tawaab and Ar-Raheem.
Haafiz Ibn Rajab says:
قيل للحسن البصري : ألا يستحيى أحدنا من ربه يستغفر من ذنوبه ثم يعود ، ثم يستغفر ثم يعود ؟ فقال : ودّ الشيطان لو ظفر منكم بهذا ، فلا تملُّوا من الاستغفار
"Hassan Al-Basri was asked: "Shouldn't one of us feel too shy to ask his Lord to forgive his sin, then do it again, then ask for forgiveness, then do it again?" He said: "The Shaytaan wishes that you would have this attitude, so do not tire of asking for forgiveness". {"Al-Jaami Al-Ulum", 1/165}.
Tayyib, its upon us to fear Allaah Azawajjal. Just the mere sense of regret you feel is from imaan, masha'Allah, tabarak'Allah! The candle of iman has not died in your heart, walhamdolillaah, you're good by heart. But remember, we should always repent and never loose hope.
Wallaahu A'alam,
Wasalaam,